- Colour beats camouflage. The mountain has enough black on it already. If nobody can spot you from the chairlift, you dressed wrong.
- Fall with the beanie on and you owe a round to everyone who saw it. Witnesses are counted at the bar, not on the slope. The chairlift counts. The drag lift counts double.
- Whoever says “one more run” buys the first one. No exceptions, no appeals.
- When YMCA comes on, you stand up. Arms included. There is no version of this where you stay in your seat.
- Jägermeister is not a drink, it's a timestamp. The moment the tray lands, the afternoon is over and the evening has officially started.
- One group photo. One. Not eleven and a reshoot because someone blinked.
- Two beanies on the same lift means you say something. That is the entire membership process.
- Ski boots stay on until the music stops. Clomping to the bar in them is not a hardship, it's a uniform.
- Whoever booked the chalet never does the dishes. This is settled law.
- Nobody checks what's in your glass. Turn up, sing along, buy your round. Water counts.
- Last one down isn't late. They're thorough.
- See u at après is a promise, not a goodbye. Turn up.
Rule zero
If you're reading the rules, you're already in.
Get the uniform
Pick the one people can find you in
Seven colours. One of them is yours.
