The Club

House Rules

Twelve of them. None of them are about skiing.
  1. Colour beats camouflage. The mountain has enough black on it already. If nobody can spot you from the chairlift, you dressed wrong.
  2. Fall with the beanie on and you owe a round to everyone who saw it. Witnesses are counted at the bar, not on the slope. The chairlift counts. The drag lift counts double.
  3. Whoever says “one more run” buys the first one. No exceptions, no appeals.
  4. When YMCA comes on, you stand up. Arms included. There is no version of this where you stay in your seat.
  5. Jägermeister is not a drink, it's a timestamp. The moment the tray lands, the afternoon is over and the evening has officially started.
  6. One group photo. One. Not eleven and a reshoot because someone blinked.
  7. Two beanies on the same lift means you say something. That is the entire membership process.
  8. Ski boots stay on until the music stops. Clomping to the bar in them is not a hardship, it's a uniform.
  9. Whoever booked the chalet never does the dishes. This is settled law.
  10. Nobody checks what's in your glass. Turn up, sing along, buy your round. Water counts.
  11. Last one down isn't late. They're thorough.
  12. See u at après is a promise, not a goodbye. Turn up.

Rule zero

If you're reading the rules, you're already in.

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